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Ben's avatar

Good book: The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown.

It is awesome that you did research and helped yourself. This will help you enjoy college more.

You are way ahead of my wife and I. We didn’t really address perfection until we were in our 50s and 60s.

Do not negotiate who you are video from Brene Brown 11 min

https://youtu.be/5vphih0pa1A?si=o8Z3OcCCq1t0odeC

The Gift of Imperfection Audio Book on YouTube

https://youtu.be/dfSeh9E0kDo?si=H_adzpCxsuWC8_Tp

Bestest Evers

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chloe's avatar

yess i love brene brown ! my ethnic studies teacher introduced me to her and toni morrison !

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Patrick's avatar

You know, it never occured to me that perfectionism is a coping mechanism; if we assume that this is true, then one has to ask the question: "coping with what or perhaps...whom?"

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chloe's avatar

honestly it’s up to the individual’s perspective but for some it helps feel people like they have something in control of in their life !

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Alyson Archibeque's avatar

I’ve learned that it was my way of coping with undiagnosed ADHD. I think it feels like control

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chloe's avatar

yess i feel that a million trillion times !

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Alyson Archibeque's avatar

Oops. …when my environment wasn’t allowing me much control.

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Cassandra's avatar

You remind me of my 17-year-old son. Insightful, emotionally aware, curious to figure out the right way forward, introspective.

I too am a very analytical self-aware person always trying to do the right thing, to be the best version of me to find the best path... And I'm telling you that yes, the anxiety and the depression, unhealthy relationships, unauthentic career choices may come as a result of striving to be perfect worrying that you're not. Especially if you're doing for others. It is a wonderful liberating realization when you decide that you ARE good enough as you are, no matter what you have accomplished or will in the moment or the future. You decide that you are good enough for YOU and that's all that matters. If I were to tell my 17-year-old self something it would be to accept and love my authentic self. No one has it figured out! we are all learning as we go, we only live once in this form so we might as well enjoy and appreciate this Mother Earth and our fantastic human experiences. Life is always going to be up and down and we are all uniquely beautiful beings who will be joyous and also suffer, have both abundance and lack, who will create and destroy , and accepting this imperfection will set you free.

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Alyson Archibeque's avatar

Chloe-happy to find a high schooler here. I’m a former teacher turned sub who’s writing about doing school differently. Your writing and learning on your own is illustrating one of my points—that we really learn when and how we want to learn. Keep writing! 😇

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chloe's avatar

thank you so muchh i love writing so much ! this keeps me going even more so !

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