the cost of perfect

i’m tired of chasing flawless

hi

so i wasn’t even gonna post this. i kept editing, deleting, rewriting it felt like nothing i wrote was good enough. so this how i landed about this which is actually kinda the point of this whole post.

perfectionism has been messing with my head for a while now. and not just mine i see it everywhere. in my friends, in people at school, in random strangers on the internet. it’s like we’ve all silently agreed that being “almost perfect” is the bare minimum, and anything less is failure.

i think a lot of us are tired. not from doing too much, but from trying to be too much. trying to be the perfect student, friend, daughter, everything. it’s exhausting pretending you’re fine when you’re quietly falling apart because you didn’t get a 100 or because your post didn’tor whatever random thing your brain decided to spiral over that day.

but here’s the truth: perfectionism isn’t just wanting to do well. it’s being scared that if we’re not excellent at everything, we’re not enough. it’s not a personality quirk, it’s a coping mechanism. and it can take a serious toll on mental health.

like i’ve noticed that when i let perfectionism drive, i become way more anxious, more burned out, and way less creative. i get stuck in this cycle of procrastinating because i’m afraid to not get it exactly right, then beating myself up for not starting sooner. it’s not just unhealthy it’s unsustainable.

so today i researched more about perfectionism and found out studies have linked perfectionism especially the self critical kind to higher rates of anxiety, depression, and burnout in students. it’s not about being ambitious or hardworking it’s about tying your entire worth to performance. and that’s quite scary place to be at.

i’m trying to unlearn it. all of it. i’m trying to remind myself that not everything has to be perfect to be worth something. that i don’t have to earn rest. or love. or validation. that doing my best is enough, even when my best is tired and messy and imperfect.

i’ve also started reminding myself that progress > perfection. messy drafts turn into final papers. awkward starts turn into something real. and sometimes just showing up, even imperfectly,

if you’ve felt crushed by the pressure to always get it right please know you’re not alone. and also: you’re allowed to rest. you’re allowed to try and mess up.

thanks for reading this rant.
if nothing else, take this with you: you don’t have to be perfect to be okay.

talk soon,

chloe