if i’m being honest
my answer when someone asked what i want
someone asked me what i want my future to look like,and i’ve been thinking about it ever since. this is my answer, at least the honest version of it right now.
i’m going to university of hawaii at manõa in the fall, which still feels kind of unreal to say. afterwards do hope i go to grad school at university of california, santa barbara.
i want to meet new people and maybe even fall in love. keep doing the life i have right now of going out, concerts, exploring, beaching. i think about what kind of life i want to wake up in.
honestly, what i want isn’t that complicated. i just want to fall in love. i want a husband, i want to get married someday.
i just know i want that kind of love, the everyday kind, the kind that’s loud and messy and real. i want love. i want a family. i want a life that feels warm and full and a little chaotic in the best way. and honestly, that feels like enough.
i want a family that lives near or on the beach, hawaii or california or even new zealand my roots, costa rica or australia i don’t really care.
i just want my kids to grow up with sand on their feet and salt in their hair, thinking the ocean is just part of life and to cherish it as much as i do.
i know life is messy and it won’t happen exactly like this. there will be stress and confusion and moments where nothing makes sense. but right now, this is my answer. not a perfect plan, not a résumé, just a hope.
also hope i get to work somewhere interesting. not necessarily something flashy or impressive, just a job that feels meaningful something i don’t dread waking up for.
again these are just a couple of wishes some will happen hopefully all but only time will tell.
sincerely,
chloe
When I was leaving for college, someone said to me, “These will be the best years of your life—enjoy them.”
At the time, I couldn’t understand how what was ahead of me could ever be better than what I was leaving behind. Those years felt untouchable.
Now, almost fifteen years later, I understand.
What makes those years feel like the best isn’t the timeline—it’s the freedom. The freedom to let your thoughts and dreams grow without limits. It’s in not having a plan and still stumbling your way through life, figuring it out as you go. It’s holding onto the version of yourself that feels the most alive. Saying yes to experiences you never imagined for yourself.
It’s also in the soul-crushing sadness. In realizing just how strong and capable you are—and proving it to yourself, again and again.
If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: you are never truly stuck. Sometimes you have to burn it all to the ground and begin again. And often, it’s in those moments that the best parts of your life are born.
Every decision you make leads you to the next right one, even when it doesn’t feel that way at the time.
I hope you have so much fun.
And remember—sometimes, no plan is the best plan.
We are at opposite ends of time, in each of our lives, yet the questions you ask in the thoughts you assemble are so familiar like I too, had them just yesterday or just 50 years ago. They are beautiful thoughts, calm, peaceful, stripped away of grand things, brought to focus on what are still the simplest and best parts of being human. Being loved, being seen. Your narrative may change many times before you too reach 70, but don’t forget to enjoy it to be kind to yourself and hardly ever listen to anybody who says this is not enough. Cheers on opening the door to your life Chloe!