I’ve noticed how uncomfortable silence has become for many of us — especially in environments where we feel pressure to constantly respond, explain, prove ourselves, or fill every pause.
But some of the most meaningful moments I’ve experienced lately came from simply listening without trying to fix, redirect, or immediately relate everything back to myself.
There’s a different kind of connection that happens when people feel fully heard.
Not performative. Not rushed. Just present.
Thank you for putting this into words so beautifully.
Nicely put. I struggle with not telling people around shut up. I like shaving silence as a way to decompress and to feel present with the moment I am in.
That final thought hit so deep: the point isn't to be heard, but to learn how to hear. This is such a beautifully written and essential piece of wisdom for our noisy world.Thank you ☺️
Joachim Berendt, John Coltrane’s musical producer, wrote a brilliant book called Nada Brahma: The World is Sound, basically about how we’ve become a very visual society, which he says is very male — the “penetrating gaze” — as opposed to the more receptive sense and female sense of hearing. He notes that baby boys respond more to visual and girls to auditory stimuli.
Listening is the greatest art. As a musician, I try to sink myself into the soundscape wherever I am. I’m about to start a cookbook, one of my first essays will be “Cooking with your Ears” — I often monitor a pressure cooker while I’m working. If it stops hissing slightly and goes quiet, you’ve got a problem — either the stove is too low, or else the vent is clogged and you are building up dangerous pressure. You get really tuned into these things.
The humorist Fran Lebowitz said the opposite of talking isn’t listening, it’s waiting. I think that’s true for a lot of people. They miss so much.
Chloe, you idea feel so real and understandable, your writing is really good, keep growing.
I’m obsessed with this article 🫶🏻 it calms my nervous system. Thank you so much for this.
There is peace in the silence. I find often on a walk wit my dog. Sometimes, just doing that helps me find solace.
Excellent
This really resonated with me.
I’ve noticed how uncomfortable silence has become for many of us — especially in environments where we feel pressure to constantly respond, explain, prove ourselves, or fill every pause.
But some of the most meaningful moments I’ve experienced lately came from simply listening without trying to fix, redirect, or immediately relate everything back to myself.
There’s a different kind of connection that happens when people feel fully heard.
Not performative. Not rushed. Just present.
Thank you for putting this into words so beautifully.
love this!
Nicely put. I struggle with not telling people around shut up. I like shaving silence as a way to decompress and to feel present with the moment I am in.
Love this
Love this 💕
That final thought hit so deep: the point isn't to be heard, but to learn how to hear. This is such a beautifully written and essential piece of wisdom for our noisy world.Thank you ☺️
there’s a kind of clarity that only shows up when you stop trying to add to every moment.
- reading this line on loop. Love the depth of the words here
Well written chloe !!
Joachim Berendt, John Coltrane’s musical producer, wrote a brilliant book called Nada Brahma: The World is Sound, basically about how we’ve become a very visual society, which he says is very male — the “penetrating gaze” — as opposed to the more receptive sense and female sense of hearing. He notes that baby boys respond more to visual and girls to auditory stimuli.
Listening is the greatest art. As a musician, I try to sink myself into the soundscape wherever I am. I’m about to start a cookbook, one of my first essays will be “Cooking with your Ears” — I often monitor a pressure cooker while I’m working. If it stops hissing slightly and goes quiet, you’ve got a problem — either the stove is too low, or else the vent is clogged and you are building up dangerous pressure. You get really tuned into these things.
The humorist Fran Lebowitz said the opposite of talking isn’t listening, it’s waiting. I think that’s true for a lot of people. They miss so much.
Lovely. And sometimes there is no credible response to give anyway.
Such tremendously good advice for a world of bloviating self focused hyperactive sheep with 8 second attention spans.
You remind me of a very young version of my late wife who always reminded me to THINK before I opened my mouth to speak. And by that she meant:
T: is it Thoughtful
H: is it Helpful
I: is it Intelligent
N: is it Necessary (that's a big one)
K: is it Kind (the most important one!)
It takes time to practice, and determination to possess this important skill. Thanks for reminding